You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize