it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
