So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
