but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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