I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
