so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
