I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
