So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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