Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
