I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
