I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
