Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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