Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize