brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
