jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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