Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
