what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
