I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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