Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
