Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
