oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
