so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
