I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
