Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
