____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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