He is such a slut. More and more my type.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
