Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
