i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
