I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize