i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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