I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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