Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
