He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
