She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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