I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I AM VODKA MAN
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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