What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
