Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize