I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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