He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
