I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
