"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
