Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
