just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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