I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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