JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
