you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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