To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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