So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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