I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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