So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
