They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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