so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
