Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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