Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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