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My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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