So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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