so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i out mim tonsoeep
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize