RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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