Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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